Finding Your Way Through Depression with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)

When Depression Makes You Feel Stuck

Depression isn’t just sadness - it can feel like exhaustion, emptiness, or a weight you can’t shake off. Maybe you wake up feeling like there’s no point in trying, or you go through the motions of your day, disconnected and drained.

For high-achievers, depression can look different. It might be:

• Feeling numb despite outward success

• Being productive but never feeling fulfilled

• Struggling with self-criticism and guilt for not "doing more"

• Pushing through burnout while ignoring your emotional needs

You might have tried to “think positive” or “push through,” only to feel even more stuck. This is where Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) offers a different approach - one that doesn’t ask you to fight your emotions but instead helps you make space for them while moving forward.

How ACT Helps with Depression

Traditional approaches like CBT often focus on changing negative thoughts - which can be helpful, but sometimes feels like an uphill battle. ACT takes a different route. Instead of trying to "fix" your mind, it helps you:

• Detach from self-critical thoughts instead of believing them

• Accept difficult emotions without letting them control your actions

• Reconnect with what truly matters so life doesn’t feel meaningless

• Take small, values-driven steps even when motivation is low

Let’s explore six ACT principles that can help you break free from depression’s grip.

1. Cognitive Defusion: Separating Yourself from Self-Critical Thoughts

Depression often brings harsh, looping thoughts:

• “I’m a failure.”

• “Nothing I do matters.”

• “I’ll never be good enough.”

ACT teaches you that thoughts are not facts - they’re just thoughts.

Example: Imagine your self-doubt is like a radio playing in the background. Instead of trying to turn it off, you simply notice it’s there. “Ah, there’s my ‘I’m not good enough’ thought again.” This distance makes it easier to choose how you respond instead of reacting automatically.

Try this: Say your negative thought in a silly voice. Sing it to the tune of “Happy Birthday.” This helps you see it as just words, not an ultimate truth.

2. Acceptance: Making Room for Hard Emotions

When depression hits, the instinct is to numb, suppress, or distract—but that often makes it worse. ACT teaches you to allow emotions without letting them control you.

Example: Instead of thinking, “I shouldn’t feel this way,” try: “I notice I’m feeling heavy today, and that’s okay.”

This small shift reduces the pressure to “fix” yourself and helps you move through emotions with more ease.

Try this: Picture your emotions like waves in the ocean. Instead of fighting them, imagine floating and letting them rise and fall naturally.

3. Present Moment Awareness: Getting Out of Your Head

Depression keeps you trapped in the past (regrets, failures) or future (fears, uncertainty). ACT helps you return to the present moment, where you have the most control.

Example: If your mind spirals into “What if I never feel better?” try grounding yourself in the present:

• Notice 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 sounds you hear, 2 things you smell, and 1 thing you taste.

• Take slow, deep breaths and focus on how your body feels right now.

Practicing this helps break the cycle of overthinking and brings a sense of calm clarity.

Try this: Picture your emotions like waves in the ocean. Instead of fighting them, imagine floating and letting them rise and fall naturally.

4. Self-as-Context: You Are More Than Your Depression

When depression is overwhelming, it’s easy to think “I am broken” or “This is just who I am”. ACT reminds you: You are not your emotions. You are the observer of them.

Example: Imagine your thoughts and feelings as passengers on a bus. Some are loud and negative, others are quiet. But YOU are the driver. You don’t have to let any one passenger take control.

5. Values-Based Living: Reconnecting with What Matters

Depression often steals motivation and meaning. You might feel detached from the things you once cared about. Instead of waiting to “feel better” before taking action, ACT helps you take small steps toward what truly matters—right now.

Example: If connection is important to you, but depression makes you withdraw, start small:

• Reply to a text instead of ghosting.

• Say yes to a short coffee meetup.

• Listen to music that reminds you of good times.

Each small action rebuilds your sense of purpose, even when depression tries to convince you there’s none.

6. Committed Action: Moving Forward, Even When It’s Hard

Depression makes every task feel overwhelming. ACT encourages you to start with tiny, manageable steps instead of waiting for motivation.

Example: If getting out of bed feels impossible, set a goal like:

• Step 1: Sit up for 10 seconds.

• Step 2: Put one foot on the floor.

• Step 3: Walk to the kitchen for a glass of water.

This builds momentum without pressure. Small wins lead to bigger ones.

Try this: Ask yourself, “What’s the smallest thing I can do today that aligns with my values?” Then do just that—nothing more.

Final Thoughts: Healing Doesn’t Mean Feeling Happy All the Time

Healing from depression doesn’t mean you’ll never feel sad, exhausted, or discouraged. It means you’ll learn how to carry those emotions differently - without letting them define you.

ACT teaches you that:

• You are not your thoughts.

• Your emotions don’t have to dictate your actions.

• You can live meaningfully, even with discomfort.

If you’re struggling with depression and want support, therapy can help you find your way back to yourself. Book a discovery call to see how I can help support you.